A Philadelphia Sorry
Our Bloggist Attempts A Food and Travel Writeup

I cannot speak for everyone but I know I started a blog because of a bloated sense of self-importance. I’m special, you know.

My expansive readership of one is probably wondering, “It’s cool that you have a blog but where’s the write-up about food? What about travel?”

I guess I should have made it clear that I cannot write about food or travel, especially food AND travel. There’s a school of blogging that is totally devoted to this art. Good for them, I say. If I wanted to do that sort of thing, I wouldn’t even know how to possibly start!


I was in Philadelphia not long ago…

I may have gone to Philadelphia not long ago. Philadelphia is the largest city in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the county seat of Philadelphia County, with which it is coterminous. Incidentally, that link will direct you to a Wikipedia entry of Philadelphia if you click on it. This is because it is a citation. Wikipedia is good. It makes everyone of us smarter online by allowing us to blatantly lift information for our writing chores. Wikipedia is a free, collaborative, multilingual Internet encyclopedia supported by the non-profit Wikimedia Foundation. There, I did it again! What am I, Britney Spears?

So there I was in Philadelphia, except it will only be more endearing if I said I was there with my girlfriend. Why? Because blog, that’s why! I have a blog, you see. I’m legally required to post about my girlfriend even if it will annoy the bubonics out of the lot of you. XOXO!


We were in Philadelphia not long ago…

So there I was in Philadelphia with my girlfriend, except it will only be cuter if I told a funny story. Something to the effect of:

Joanne and I were somewhere in the western hemisphere, near Philadelphiar, Pennsylvaniar, when a dude suddenly says to me, ‘They say that the parade is so much more better here…’. I say, “Paraze? Pereez? Breeze?”, somehow mishearing what he said. The dude, suddenly embarrassed, snuck away, managed a quick “Sorry”, and disappeared altogether somewhere in the western hemisphere. Unbeknownst to the clueless hero of this story, his girlfriend was behind him trying not to laugh because she immediately understood: hero just got hit on by a dude. I said to the girlfriend who suddenly assumed her normal form as a harpy, “You couldn’t have told me something? Besides, he could have just been inviting me to that parade. You seem unduly happy about it, for a girl whose man-boy just got mistaken for a homosexual. That only means that you look like my beard!”


Semantics…

Where were we now, before I rudely interrupted myself with facial hair?

Ahh, yes.

So there I was in Philadelphia with my girlfriend, after getting hit on invited to a pride parade, when I realized that this sentence needs to transmogrify into an inane write-up about food. Where to begin?


My face was in Philadelphia not long ago…

Philadelphia is a lot of things. Philly Cheesesteak! Stupid me and my bad habit of not consulting Wikipedia when it’s just a Google search away! Maybe I do not know the Google? I once thought it was spelled Fili Cheesesteak LOL. I thought isn’t that just short for Filipino Cheesesteak? Apparently not, because it’s spelled Philly Cheesesteak. Therefore, cheesesteak is not originally from “Filipinas” but from “Philly-delphia”. Why do they spell it so differently I get confused, hahaha! Go Manny Pacquiao!


I was in Pat’s in Philadelphia not long ago…

Pat’s King of Steaks is in Philadelphia. It is most famous for inventing the 8th wonder of the world that’s in the form of a sandwich – the Philly Cheesesteak.


Does anybody still read captions?

Luckily, Joanne and I went there an hour before lunch, otherwise there would have been a line. When you get there, you order cheesesteak.


Ordering cheesesteak can be quite stressful.

Before you order cheesesteak, you will have to look at the menu first:


What a big menue! Do you need this any larger?

Cheesesteak is popular in Philadelphia, that is why Rocky “Sylvester Stallone” Balboa filmed a scene in Pat’s King of Steaks.


A marker obscuring what Rocky stood on in 1976.

Right across Pat’s is Geno’s, another Philadelphia landmark that serves Philly Cheesesteak.


Be careful not to miss it…

Here is another shot of Geno’s from a slightly different angle.


Just in case you missed it…

The two establishments engage in something of a friendly rivalry. I also found the staff for both quite friendly. The neighborhood?


Nothing is friendlier than the sight of a chained bicycle cannibalized.

Having just eaten original Philly cheesesteak at Pat’s, I could only do one logical thing after that at Geno’s.


Does this face full of sandwich make my face look fat?

I found both cheesesteaks to be good because my opinion is as worthless as underwear lint. Superlatives! BEST. CHEESESTEAKS. EVER. They are, in fact, to die for! Literally! TO. DIE. FOR. Did you see what I just did? I just literally died to eat cheesesteak. I’ve passed on! I’m no more! I have ceased to be! I’ve expired and gone to meet my maker! I’m a stiff! Bereft of life! I rest in peace! I’m pushing up daisies! My metabolic processes are now history! I’m off the twig! I’ve kicked the bucket! I’ve shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain, and joined the bleeding choir invisible! I am an ex-bloggist!


A blogger’s to-die-for afterlife: the great 24-hour buffet in the sky.

Where were we now, before I rudely interrupted myself with chafing dishes?

Ahh, yes.

So there I was in Philadelphia with my girlfriend, after getting hit on invited to a pride parade and having literally killed myself dead for Philly cheesesteak, when I realized I haven’t posted any pictures of my kids to cutify this post. Not to worry, my friends, I have no kids yet.


Here’s a photo of Joanne’s kid brother instead.

So there. I hope you are happy, my expansive readership of one. I’m really hopeless when writing about food and travel. I should best avoid lifestyle topics if I have nothing altogether important to say beyond ‘I like it!’ and ‘It’s not for me!’. I guess I should also avoid pretending to be an authority on other uppity stuff: no movie reviews, literary analyses, or art appreciation even if I can enjoy these to some extent. Music may be a good thing to write about (since I’m something of a music geek), but I should definitely stick to areas that I’m familiar with, such as nü-metal. I think I’ve already avoided 42,999 extremely pointless future arguments by controlling my output in those dangerous topics (even more dangerous than politics and religion). I’ll leave the ‘experts’ to deal with those.

I realize that I also do not like posting about personal stuff. I believe that excessive online gestures of affection should be cause for castration. I guess I also do not like lifting Wikipedia entries wholesale, nor writing in CAPS, especially WHEN. MY. WORDS. ARE. ALL. PUNCTUATED. BY. PERIODS. One more thing: no BREAKING NEWS!!!! Facebook and Twitter can already serve us well for those.

So there I was in Philadelphia with my girlfriend, after getting hit on invited to a pride parade and having literally killed myself dead for Philly cheesesteak, when I realize that this is all a waste of time. I only started a blog because of a bloated sense of self-importance, you know.

Disclaimer: my expansive readership of one is no other than that harpy girlfriend of mine. She was the one who suggested this post because she only wants her photo posted here out of a bloated sense of self-importance.

Here is one more pointless photo of food:


OH. NO. YOU. DIDN’T.

Categories: [food], [livestock], [travel], [verb.anything], [web]

[3] Comments

3 Comments »

  • your harpy gf says:
    January 7, 2012 A.D. at 12:18 AM

    This post totally satisfies my bloated sense of self-importance, xoxo

    [Reply]
  • Achi Nini says:
    March 8, 2012 A.D. at 1:18 AM

    Just saw these two stores featured in some food show! Can u try the new cheesteak place in makati and write another useless feedback?

    [Reply]
    • Ronan says:
      March 8, 2012 A.D. at 3:33 PM

      i already tried it, hehe. i guess i should also do a proper feature on ‘the cheesesteak shop’ because i certainly liked it. good idea… thanks, achi!

      [Reply]

 

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