Blog-Off Battle: Fashion Juicy XXX (Part 1: Government Constructive)
Because Slagging Other People Off Is Better Through Rhyme

A pingback (or trackback) occurs in WordPress blogs (like this one) whenever another person with a WordPress blog links to a post. The pingback is a type of ‘remote’ comment to let the linked blogger and his/her readers know that some other blogger posted a hyperlink to the article on which this ‘remote’ comment appears. It’s much simpler than it sounds, for sure.

For example, there is this fashion blogger from Texas who, fortuitously enough, maintains a WordPress blog. This sentence is composed of links to various posts on her blog. If you follow those links, you would know what a pingback looks like. Incidentally, her inbox was just inundated with emails notifying her that some psycho linked to her blog twelve times all at the same time. Please click on any of those links to give her more traffic. She needs it. You may also look at my sidebar (to the bottom left), and click ‘Fashion Juicy XXX’ under ‘Link Anything’. Of course, you may also like her Facebook page.

What I have just done above is promote this ‘Fashion Juice’ blog through spam. I have also employed a bit of false advertising, because some dudes will click that link thinking that it’s a porn site. To these unsuspecting dudes, I apologize. You may take delight in the fact that I myself also fell victim to this unscrupulous blogger’s shrewd promotional practices – I also thought she was peddling porn (although I always think that of anything, anyway).

I recently had a rhyme-off with some blogger named Calvin Shub. I may have lost that one, but that’s not important – I can always just challenge someone else. Because I am not above picking on a girl, I have chosen Fashion Juicy XXX to be my adversary for the month. Well, I hope you can take the pressure, Juicy! Ping this, you dirty Delilah!

Because it’s August, I resolved to do this in Filipino. I’m a patriot, yo.


Guess what? You know last night?
Yo, it was the best!
I met a fashion blogger
Na taga-US

Marami siyang mga taga-hanga
D’un sa MyFashionJuice
Akala kasi ng mga lalaki
Ay may passion juice

Kaya’t ang sabi ko, “Wow bastos!
O, pahingi naman.
Bigyan mo ‘kong konting balat,
Sabayan pa ng laman.”

Gusto kong makatikim
Ng juice na mamasa-masa
May giveaway daw siya
Na libreng facial sa mukha

Ano ba yaaan?! May pictures
Pero lahat bitin
Nag-reklamo ako pero
Asawa niya’ng humarap sa akin

Tinanong ko, “Hey Andrew,
Nasa’n ba ang misis mo?”
Sumagot siya, “Ewan lang,
Baka nag-nunumber-two.”

Okay then, tiis lang tayo
Juice mio, juice ko ‘day
Namili ako ng lipstick
At nag-ahit ako ng kilay

And you know, doon sa website
Ako napapadpad
Nag-aabang perooo
Walang naghuhubad

So I kept on looking for that juice
Wala namang katas
Dieciocho naman ako
Walang labag d’un sa batas

Binasa ko: kikay ang lahat
Ng kanyang mga akda
Kaya naman ako
Unti-unting nababakla

So, after twenty visits
Hindi na ‘ko babalik
Paano naman kasi
Kanyang pasyon pang-holy-week

Talbog ang fashionista
‘Coz you know, alam niyo ba?
‘Pag tatabihan ko siya
Ako na ang mas maganda!

 

Click here for the continuation. Girl thinks she’s feisty, pfft.

Categories: [dickery], [violence], [web]

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