Blog-Off Battle: Fashion Juicy XXX (Part 2: Opposition Constructive)
Because Slagging Other People Off Is Better Through Rhyme

Some people just don’t know how to express gratitude. After my previous post, in which I helped promote this girl’s fashion blog, said girl sent me a severe reply to tell me that she despises me and my blog. Shame on that girl. I expected some fresh dollar credits in my PayPal account, but I got a sucky memo instead (in Tagalog, to boot). The girl is fast, I must say. Funnily enough, her message was in rhyme. I think she is under the impression that she can beat me (tee hee!), even though she doesn’t want to dirty her blog by mentioning me there. In the spirit of fun, however, I’ll print her reply here. It’s pretty angry, so I’m obliged to patronize her.

So, Juicy, do you think this is… err… juicy? Not as juicy as your diapers will be after I’m done with you!


Pilitin mo mang maging
Hayop sa ‘yong dating
Wala ka ‘ni katiting
Kahit itsura mo bading

Sa ayos mo lang palagi
Talbog na’ng mga kutob
Sa baduy mo pa lang kasi
Please, utang na loob

Chong, umuwi ka na
‘Wag makapal ang face
Bakla ka ba talaga?
Eh bakit wala kang taste?

Guapo ka raw at magaling
May good looks na chinito
Para lang siguro sa lasing
Kasi kamukha mo si Chiquito

Nag-gel pa sa araw-arawan
Kahit kulang sa buhok
May pabango pang nalalaman
Amoy ulam na bulok

Tignan mo mukha mo
‘Sing tigas ng adobe
Style mo pang-dukha, no?
Pwede kang maging pulubi

Puslit ba yan sa ukay-ukay?
Vintage ba o luma?
Baka ninakaw yan sa hukay?
Kaya ka niyan amoy lupa

Lakas mo mag-trip
Pero heto buong istorya
Damit mo, ultimo brip
Lahat galing sa Divisoria

‘Wag ka nang magpumilit
Wala ka namang arrive
Nagpunta ka lang sa 168
Namiling buy-one-take-five

P’re, teka, isang saglit
Hindi kita tinataboy
Pero sa hitsura mo ‘yang yagit
Paampon ka na lang kay Tito Boy

Feeling ka man maganda
Wala kang bilis o talino
Di ka pasadong Boy Abunda
Kahit feeling Kris Aquino

 

This ain’t continuing further, because she clearly just lost. Whatever.

Categories: [dickery], [violence], [web]

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