Blog-Off Battle: Fashion Juicy XXX (Part 3: Government Rebuttal)
Because Slagging Other People Off Is Better Through Rhyme

Hello, filthy human readers. This electro-blog is once again being taken over by the man of the house. I may have been noticeably absent this month, but I’m back. Did a cat just pass me by? That photograph is fake, I say. Nothing – but nothing, except quick brown foxes – passes by me, Archer (Prof.)!

My human recently engaged in a bark battle with a female from the other side of the Earth planet who maintains a fashion blog. Because my puny human was doggy-whipped by that female in the proceedings, I took it on myself to defend this electro-blog’s honor.

It has come to my attention that the juicy fashion blogger-woman is merely the flamboyant pup’s paw of a cowardly canine. This poor excuse of doggy existence apparently goes by the name of a handbag and flamboyant French kings who wear frilly wigs. Pssh. Sir Louis, I’m afraid you are not a doggy, but a p-. I challenge you to a bark-off in the Tagalesque language that our humans like to speak. Please start tucking your tail between your legs, you unmanly creature, and read…


Siya’y isang doggie
Pero feeling siya na bitch
Kikay kung kumilos
Dahil amo niya ay bwitch

Madalas mamarako
Ang hilig niya sa juicy
Naghahabol ng cats
Pero ayaw niya ng pusa

Malakas ang kanyang odor
‘Kala mo ay mabantot
Naghahanap lang siya
Ng sandaling kanta

Tumutuwad palagi
Di naman natatae
Ganyan siya kung maglandi
Pagka’t siya ay binabae

Yeah, anumang dog!

Kung siya ay hihimasin
Siya ay naka-smile
Alam ni-ya kasi
Na kasunod ay doggie style

Kapag susubo na siya
Mawawala ang breeding
Favorite ang karne
Lagi siyang over-feeding

Ayaw niya’ng bahaw
Gusto lang Eukanuba
Feeling Amboy siya
Sabay tanong, “You Kano ba?”

Azkal siya na hilaw
Dila ay nakalawit
Para siyang adik-adik
Pero’ng sinisinghot ay pwet

Yeah, anumang dog!

 

What’s this? A reply? Stay calm but assertive, now… calm but assertive…

Categories: [dickery], [dogs], [violence], [web]

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