Food Porn: Degustating Dimsum with a Debonair

Welcome to the new month, old friends and old ideas. I have been on a roll with food topics lately that you know I’d dish this out sooner or later. Sooner it is, then, since eight is supposed to be a lucky number. Please enjoy this installment of new old food porn, fresh out of your moms’ bookshelves…

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I haven’t heard that before, she thought. It has been a long evening. Here she stood, facing a line of eager young men. They clustered around her every time she stopped, offering their little bits. They’re all so naïve, she told herself – was I ever like any of them? She felt amused at the sincerity inherent in their come-ons.

“Try this,” someone said, “It’s nice and juicy.”

“No, this,” offered another, “It’s big and bouncy.”

“How about this?” said yet another, “It’s mighty and meaty.”

“This is the best,” came another, “My mommy says so all the time.”

They try too hard. She looked at some of the goods on display, feeling compelled to nibble on some out of compassion. A lot of them looked too soft. Some were rather creased. Some were even starting to unravel, with stuffing peeking through the blotchy membrane. She also enjoyed some to an extent. There was one bun that she admired, although she thought the filling somewhat fruity. As for the balls – well – she felt most of them were not springy enough. The last thing she tried was something akin to a shapeless blob. It looked promising but it exploded even before it touched her lips, smearing her chin with warm sticky fluid. She came away from that with her skirt stained, feeling miserable. It’s a living, she told herself.

On several occasions, she saw herself fending off some crass youngsters who gracelessly thrust their glutinous dumplings into her face. She remembered that time with Harper, smiling at the thought. He liked those hideous orange toppers, now, didn’t he? Also those yellowed wrappings…

She came to the end of the line, finally, finding a rather older man. He gave off an air of smug satisfaction as he eyed her from head to toe. “You’ll want some of this,” he said, holding it out for her to view. It looked like it was moving, but it could have been just the steam in the room. “It’s been waiting for you… if you know what I mean.”

This I have to see. She took one long look, preparing to be let down. She already hated his face and was thinking of the worst ways that she could tell him off. She poked at it with her finger, “And this should be something new, isn’t it?”

“Of course,” he replied. “I’ve worked it all evening, so you can be sure that it’s just right… if you know what I mean.”

She felt annoyed. “I’ve put so many of these in my mouth all evening,” she snapped, “They all taste the same. How do you expect me to enjoy this?”

“Unwrap it,” he urged with a smirk, “if you know what I mean.”

I don’t believe this piece of work, she thought. She started undoing the coverings, revealing a loosely packed mass dripping with juices. The skin felt supple, however delicate it appeared. Impressive, she told herself. And yet, she felt put off by his confidence.

“Well,” he asked, clearly impressed with himself, “What do you think? If you know what I mean.”

I hate you.


“Quite honestly,” she blurted out, “it looks like a shrimp.”


Check out past food porn HERE, HERE, HERE, HEREHEREHERE, and HERE.

Categories: [food], [pornography]

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