Face Hugger (Part 1)
Facing Off With Famous Lookalikes

Hello, reader.  I’m not sure whether we have already met personally, but if not, I can assure you that you’re not missing much. Should you meet me one of these days and recognize me as ‘that learning incapacitated bloggist’, it likely won’t be through photographs that I have posted myself. I have an irrational revulsion to posting pictures of myself, you see. To myself, my photos always appear alien because I never look like THAT through my own eyes. I think I need another pair to properly (un)appreciate my two-dimensional likeness. My face always looks wrong to me. It’s like hearing a recording of my own voice when it could very well be a stranger’s.

I may still bump into you one of these days, though. I’m not sure whether it would be to anyone’s pleasure if I were to be recognized, but I shall help you with the exercise of identification (at your own risk, of course). You may know my blessed face through the following list of people who supposedly look like me.

Conversely, if you encounter any of these people, tell them they look like me. When they inevitably ask, “Who?”, you may answer them, “That learning incapacitated bloggist,” and give them my site address. That’s promotion, young grasshopper.

 


Quan Yeomans
Thanks, YouTubeAll the way down under we go for my first supposed lookalike. Quan Yeomans is the frontman and guitar player for the esteemed Australian band Regurgitator. Quan (not to be confused with Mark Abaya’s band) is part-Vietnamese on his mother’s side, explaining the Asian connection.

You may or may not have heard of the band before, but they’ve been around for almost twenty years. They’re also kind of awesome. Apparently, this 2001 video of theirs is where I most resemble Quan:


Watch on YouTube

How appropriate – the song is called Superstraight. That’s me, if anything: stereotypically straight (I’ve never even been invited to join a pride parade).

I guess I need to qualify: I look like Quan circa the early ‘00s (and dressed as Mormon). Here is what he looks like now:


Still superstraight. [thanks, streeteditors]

That’s not so bad, then. If I grow my facial hair, I may be able to ape Quan’s snazzy rock star look in ten years.


One can hope, at least.

Some people would say I look less rockstar Quan and more like…

 

Christopher Lao
Thanks, YouTubeEveryone has heard about this dude, for sure. He got the Internets abuzz sometime last year with a momentary lapse of judgment (combined with bad luck) when he drove his car through floodwaters, effectively demonstrating buoyancy.

Lamenting his waterlogged vehicle, he then came up with his catchphrase, “I should have been informed!™” Here is the video, for those who don’t remember:


Watch on YouTube

Through his brief moment in the web spotlight, he became a case study for Internet memes, and how they have the tendency to stay funny for about five minutes before devolving into a stale mob-driven clusterfuck. It wasn’t so much cyber-bullying as it was plain meanness and stupidity.

Since everyone else got to exploit his fifteen minutes, it seemed only fitting for himself to finally benefit from the unfortunate incident via a paying gig. Being the class act, Mr. Lao parodied himself later on through a web-only ad for BPI. Here you go:


Watch on YouTube

As of February this year, Christopher Lao has become a lawyer. Hats off to you, then, good sir… more than all of these accomplishments combined, I want to inform™ you that you also rock a wet white shirt better than his bloggist doppelganger. It’s not from lack of trying, too.


I even went to the best school to learn how.

 

At this point, this bloggist would also like to inform you, reader, that you may peruse the conclusion of this asinine article by clicking here.


Categories: [celebrity], [miscellaneous]

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