Looking Baa On 2012, Again
The Good, The Blog, and The Ugly

Hello again, internets! You’re just in time for the b-side of our 2012 evaluation. We already went into this eletro-blog’s five most popular postings from last year, so here’s five more. It boggles my mind how this site even racks views, but I’m glad to know that the world isn’t short of bored people. Misery sure loves company – so thanks, everyone.

I can’t read some of last year’s posts now without cringing (one year gives a lot of perspective). Nevertheless, I shall list some more links below – warts, leprosy, and all. These list things make for good filler, didn’t you know? It’s a trusty bloggist fallback during creative bankruptcies – and, on top of that, it’s not considered plagiarism if you rip off your past self. Huzzah!

Thanks for wasting your precious time on these pointless links. Or, for the really sad, your pointless time on these precious links! Please click on…


6. All of Us Are Scrooged
Here’s a latecomer, posted in haste last Christmas (and copiously edited for a week, because nobody proofreads with a hangover).

This is something like the third installment in my how-not-to-blog series, which could be the closest thing I have for a manifesto (something that I won’t call so, because how-not-to-blog). Part one and part two were in the last update, by the way.

Certain well-meaning friends have been giving me advice on how to improve this blog. They told me that my posts were too long (or wordy), too infrequent, and too unorganized. All of Us Are Scrooged is very long, very late, and very random. It is also one of this blog’s best-received posts – sorry, well-meaning friends!

And thanks, hangover!

For obvious reasons, All of Us Are Scrooged may be the most gratifying post for me so far. Out of nowhere, this thing overtook all previous posts to become the most read one in December. In but six days, it received enough views to make it the sixth most popular posting of 2012. Who am I kidding? You are probably here because of this thing.

You’re certainly not here for that viral bloggist face.

So what does one do with a viral hit? Honestly? I was aiming for more of a profound, long-term effect – something a bit more bacterial than viral, really – but I’ll take what I can get. I sincerely thank you for contributing to this virality… let’s see whether we can make this blog bacterial.

Engrish rocks. I did a short bit about it early last year, too.


7. Blog-Off Battle: Fashion Juicy XXX
The Blog-Off Battle series is a display of warm fuzzy affection between this bloggist and some of his blogger frenemies. We like to engage in some friendly banter on occasion. Because we are a happy family, the resulting slanderous exchanges are done in the modern genre of ‘hip hop rapping urban music’. It is also in parliamentary debate format, just because.

There have been two blog-off battles so far (and none else planned for now). Taking the #7 spot of 2012, we have my four-part exchange with the US-based fashion blogger whom we know only as ‘Fashion Juicy XXX’, to hide her identity – seriously, she doesn’t want to get associated with this blog. Our showdown – this blog’s only Tagalog postings so far – allowed me to pay tribute to the great Andrew E. (which was a nice opportunity). The battle also had dawgs rap-guesting, so please check it out.

Previous to this, I first had a blog-off with that infamous blogger, ‘Calvin Shub’ (again, a pseudonym – nobody wants to be associated with Verb.Anything.ph at all). That battle was also in four parts, but please do not check it out. That dude scares me. He’s hardcore, yo. Shub be a straight up G (he’s a lot of g-words, really).

By the way, that’s the Shub in the photo with Solenn Heusaff (before she took out a restraining order against him). That photo is a waste of pixels, obviously. It’s just wrong… it’s wrong because I should be in it! Duh, I know I’ll look better holding that laptop.

What’s great about these blog-offs, you see, is that my opponents don’t even have an idea of their participation until I publish. To begin with, I don’t think they’re even aware of this blog. Ha! This is more apparent when I had the main cast of The Bourne Legacy guesting in this two-part rant against motorcycles.


8. Facebook Fiend
March last year was when this blog blatantly went public. This involved a lot of baiting and spamming on Facebook. I doubt people enjoyed it, but I forced quite a number into liking my Facebook page, anyway. It wasn’t pretty but at least it got results.

This little write-up, Facebook Fiend, was this bloggist making amends for those inexcusable attempts at a readership. Since these people were coerced into liking my page, I offered a step-by-step guide of reversing that brief lapse of sanity. Sorry, folks!

The post had several luminaries guesting. The aforementioned ‘Fashion Juicy XXX’, for one…

Boy, did she regret helping me out.

And the big banana himself: a world-class cult personality, the great grandpappy of Philippine blogging, Abe Olandres of Yugatech. We met him previously.

YUGA SEES EVERYTHING (even from behind Facebook menu pixels)!!!


9. Old Schooled
I have no idea why this is even in the rankings – it’s only fair, though, because I also don’t have any idea what this thing is, to start with. Or maybe I do – I recall putting this two-part special on the 90s in a coffee shop during a longish break from a client meeting. I did it, as I am wont to do, with very little sleep.

I meant this, I remember, as back-to-school advice on how to be hip and cool. It discussed stuff from the 90s, as delivered by an old fogey addressing a current high-schooler in the hippest lingo of the 20th Century. The write-up is probably worse than the description… I’ll just wait for the death threats in the comments, thank you.


10. Ticket to Ride
This isn’t even a proper post. This is all it is, seriously:

No more. No less.

It’s just a picture of my big face receiving a big ticket from KLM Philippines after I won a Facebook contest (what? those things are real?).

Prior to this blog, I rarely – if ever – posted my picture anywhere public. There are the occasional Facebook posts, of course, but even those are pretty reclusive. For the record, I do not enjoy seeing my face in photos. It’s unbelievably weird and alien to my perceptions, kind of like hearing my own voice from a recording. Posting public photos of myself is painful, especially knowing how random people could access them. God help my face, I shouldn’t be a bloggist!

Which brings me to an unusual observation, something that my girl-beard also pointed out: the most popular posts are somehow about my wretched face. For this top ten alone, half directly involve my face. Oh, you enablers! Since when have blogs become venues for vanity and self-entitlement? On Facebook, in fact, the most popular update concerns this meandering piece about an old photo of myself with the late Dolphy.

My fashion sense is timeless.

Does this blog need more me posts? Like this two-fer about lookalikes? Or this four-part thing about namesakes? How about this advice serial about business school that has my grad pic?

They do not make graduation photos like this anymore.

How does this work, people? I don’t understand. Even I don’t want to read about my face! Is that a face that launches a thousand click-throughs? Wait – don’t tell me. It’s the Gorilla Cover Principle, isn’t it? This is science telling us: gorillas on a cover sell more issues of a comic. What, I’m like Donkey Kong now? Pfsh! At least we’re now clear on that… Golly gee, readers! Thank you for the flattering thought! You may want to leave now, lest I fling some organic matter in your direction (it’s B A N A N A S !).

And, like always, thanks for stopping by.

Categories: [links], [livestock], [verb.anything]

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