Tag: romance
My Clerical Romance (Rising Action)

It just dawned on me that Valentine’s this year falls on the second day of Lent. What great timing for it to occur on the feast day of a Christian martyr… let us commemorate with more heart-shaped indulgence. Hello and Happy V-Day once again! I trust you’re comfy? Perhaps feeling a bit excited after our

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My Clerical Romance (Exposition)

Love is in the air! And it smells like disinfectant. Would you be my Valentine? Here’s my latest blood test. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Ah, grumble. Pfft. I feel you. Especially you single ones who consider yourselves ‘true romantics’. To hell with Valentine’s Day… just count yourselves lucky that you won’t have to deal with

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Food Porn: Stuffing Sausages with a Slut

Greetings, oral fixators! Episode 12 is here – or not. Front Cover There is no truth to the closure order from the sanitation department. Our dirty kitchen, however, is indeed closed for the duration. You may check out our menu for the meantime… Stuffing Sausages with a Slut Vomiting Veggies with a Vamp Masticating Meatloaf

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Food Porn: Vomiting Veggies with a Vamp

It just goes on, doesn’t it? It seems like we started this only fifty years ago. This will be a short precursor to another food-related series that will be totally unnecessary. You will find other more worthwhile uses for your time… but who are we fooling? Here we are, then, with food porn eleven… Front

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Food Porn: Masticating Meatloaf with a Maneater

Gather round, you degenerate degustators. Stop that right now. This is more important than whatever you’re doing. Anything is more important than whatever it is you do, even this kind of third-rate ‘humor’ literature with an over-reliance on double entendre. Here is another future transmission from the twenty-first century, where the future’s so bright that

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Food Porn: Searing Steak with a Sinner

My, how time flies. It is as if this little update was transmitted via electronic signals from another point in time (perhaps from four days in the future?). It doesn’t matter. Everything about this blog is outdated, anyway. What’s a little backdating between frenemies? And because nobody asked for it, here is food porn episode

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Food Porn: Degustating Dimsum with a Debonair

Welcome to the new month, old friends and old ideas. I have been on a roll with food topics lately that you know I’d dish this out sooner or later. Sooner it is, then, since eight is supposed to be a lucky number. Please enjoy this installment of new old food porn, fresh out of

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Food Porn: Ingesting Innards with an Incubus

In case anyone hasn’t yet noticed, summer is now upon us, along with its delicious deluge of heat and humidity. It is the perfect time to take up new activities, to hit the beach, and to discover circumcision courtesy of your local governments. There is no better way to enjoy the superb tropical climate, however,

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Food Porn: Cooking Croquettes with a Coquette

Time goes by so fast when you compulsively squander away your sorry life on these wonderful blog things. Is it January already? Welcome back, misguided reader. We offer you more distractions, if that’s what you came here for. We believe that no life is too good to not squander away on trivialities. This is the

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Food Porn: Chewing Cheese with a Charlatan

My research on these blog-things is quite conclusive – food blogs and porn blogs get the most hits. It’s only genius on my part to want to appeal to loyal visitors of both. We’re looking at an irredeemable throng of jillions. This is why I invented the Internet! Does your boss even know what you’re doing

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